Less Dissapointing

The Darjeeling Limited Dir. Wes Anderson '07

Three brothers who haven't spoken in years and still don't trust each other get on a train in an attempt to go on a "spiritual journey" through India. Standard rules of Wes Anderson films apply (flawed characters, dysfunctional family, humor in sad situations, sadness in funny situations, Rolling Stones music, slo-mo, Owen Wilson, dead relatives)

I love every Wes Anderson movie, but the first time I saw this one in the theater I was kind of disappointed. However after recently viewing it a second time I enjoyed it more, but still not as much as Anderson's previous films. With the story primarily being three brothers on a train, making a few stops here and there, the story just seems really fragmented. It's kind of like a mix CD where you like the songs, but they don't really go together. It helped the second time watching because I knew that was how the movie started, and I knew where it ended up.

It ended up being my least favorite Wes Anderson film, but still one of the best of the year.

8.88/10

The Last Dragon dir. Michael Schultz (1985)

Leroy (real name Taimak. Just Taimak) is an aspiring black martial artist looking to complete his training. In his way are Sho'nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, and Eddie Arkadian, a video game mogul (I think) with a history of violence who resorts to kidnapping a VJ (Vanity is her one name) in order to get his girlfriends music video played. Leroy uses his kung-fu to thwart the kidnapping, so Arkadian hires a bunch of goons to fight him. I forget why Sho'nuff wants to fight Leroy, but it doesn't really matter.

This movie is pretty hilarious, if you like bad acting, bad music, a ridiculous plot and stuff that was probably really cool in 1985.

So I give it a special rating:

1985/10

moveee count: 20/150

fart capacity

Eagle vs. Shark (Taika Cohen)


Lily (Loren Horsley) is reserved and awkward. Jarrod (Jemaine Clement) is an introspective oddball completely oblivious to Lily's affection for him. A celebration mixed with a strange plan to exact revenge on Jarrod's high school foe brings the two raging misfits together to face their mutual life challenges. Academy Award-nominated director Taika Cohen also penned this dark romantic comedy, a 2007 Sundance Film Festival entry.

pretty much napoleon dynamite, but better, and with that one guy from flight of the conchords, pretty solid. put on a helmet and let me throw a shoe at your head

6/10


Across the Universe (Julie Taymor)

An American girl (Evan Rachel Wood) and a British lad (Jim Sturgess) fall in love amid the upheaval of the 1960s in this musical featuring classic Beatles songs and a mix of live action and innovative animation. On an excursion to America, Liverpool dock worker Jude (Sturgess) falls for Lucy (Wood). When Lucy's brother (Joe Anderson) is drafted, Jude and Lucy take a stand as anti-war activists. Dana Fuchs, Bono and Eddie Izzard co-star.

pretty cheesy, but pretty awesome. Like newsies, with Beatles covers. I liked most of it, but then again i like friday night lights. The songs are actually surprisingly refreshing versions of Beatles songs with only an occasional cringe.

7/10


Bio (mother fucking) Dome (Jason Bloom)




Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin star in this guilty pleasure: a comedy that requires no thought but generates a lot of laughs. Slackers Bud and Doyle mistakenly get sucked into living inside the Bio-Dome -- an environmental experiment that requires residents to stay for a year without outside contact. Can Bud and Doyle save the world, or will the world have to be saved from Bud and Doyle?

best american movie ever

10/10

38/300

Margot at the Wedding

Directed by: Noah Baumbach 2007

Pauline (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is going to marry struggling artist Malcolm (Jack Black) at the home where she grew up in a small ceremony.  Her sister Margot (Nicole Kidman) will be attending despite not speaking to Pauline for years.  

This is a dysfunctional family dark comedy much like Baumbach's previous film, "The Squid and the Whale".  It is very similar to "Squid" in terms of tone, sense of humor, and masturbating children.  One difference is this one has masturbating Nicole Kidman.  Lots of other awkward stuff like that.

I enjoyed Jack Black's performance, which I can't really say about most of his movies.  His character's kind of pathetic and angry, but still really funny.   He's good as a supporting character.  The movie is mostly about Margot, and her equally dysfunctional relationship with her sister,  her son, her husband (John Turturro) as well as her unseen parents and  other sister, Betsy. 

 I really like "The Squid and the Whale", but I didn't care for "Margot" as much.  It's a lot more talky, and just not as interesting as far as story and characters.  Still good.  Pretty good.  

7.77/10

Total (now that I know a TV series disc equals a movie)

18/150

a reminder

seasons count as one movie per disc

and that said

Battlestar Galactica Season 1 Disc 5

more hyjinks and more shit hitting the fan, they need to solve some problems before adding new ones.

6.5/10

35/300

Resident Evil: Extinction (Russell Mulcahy)
Milla Jovovich returns as zombie-killing soldier Alice, who's obsessed with bringing down the Umbrella Corp. When a series of viral outbreaks nearly wipes out all of mankind, Alice and a small band of survivors are left to roam the ruins of Las Vegas, battling the undead … and their own extinction. Oded Fehr, Mike Epps, Ali Larter and R&B singer Ashanti co-star in this final installment of the sci-fi trilogy.

Well let's seee: Milla Jovovich is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, and for ninety minutes she shoots and decapitates zombies while sweating and wearing revealing clothing.

10000000/10

A Scanner Darkly (Richard Linklater)
Keanu Reeves shoulders another futuristic role in director Richard Linklater's sci-fi thriller based on Philip K. Dick's novel. Working as an undercover cop in a world where almost everyone is addicted to Substance D -- which produces split personalities in its users -- Fred Arctor (Reeves) sets up an elaborate sting to nab a notorious drug runner named Bob. But little does Fred know that "Bob" is … his alter ego.

Probably the only Philip K Dick adaptation that actually feels like a Philip K Dick novel. This is one of my favorite movies. The scenes between Woody Harrelson and Robert Downey Jr are hilarious. Dick always slipped a little bit of dark humor in his work and Linklater captured it perfectly.

Keanu's best work since Point Break.

10/10

Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright)
A top London cop (Simon Pegg) is ready to die of boredom when his superiors transfer him to a sleepy English village to work alongside a blundering but well-meaning young constable (Nick Frost). Craving some real action, the big-city bobby may just get his wish when the town begins to stir with a series of grisly "accidents." Is foul play afoot in this seemingly idyllic hamlet? Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead) directs.

Speaking of Point Break...

This movie is what it is - Shaun of the Dead but action instead of horror. I love the Bad Boys II and Point Break references and parodies. What I like best is that this movie count stand alone as a good action/buddy comedy instead of just being a parody. My only problem is two hours is a bit long for this sort of thing.

7/10

Gone Baby Gone (Ben Affleck)
When a 4-year-old girl goes missing in Dorchester, one of Boston's toughest hoods, private investigators Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro (Casey Affleck and Michelle Monaghan) reluctantly agree to take the case. But the investigation proves tougher, riskier and more complex than they could have imagined. Ben Affleck's directorial debut, adapted from the Dennis Lehane novel, also stars Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman and Amy Ryan (in her first Oscar-nominated role).

Nothing to say that hasn't already been said. I liked this movie..a lot. Casey Affleck was definitely bad ass. I was really into the fact that his partner was also his...wife? Girlfriend? Whatever. But that it didn't complicate matters at all when doing the job. Affleck wasn't constantly looking after her, and she was a confident/respectable female that didn't end up like a dike Michelle Rodriguez/Angelina Jolie type character.

The whole time I kept thinking, "holy shit I can't believe Ben Affleck directed this."

9/10

movie count 12/156

The Divine Invasion (Philip K Dick)
Philip K. Dick asks: What if God--or a being called Yah--were alive and in exile on a distant planet? How could a second coming succeed against the high technology and finely tuned rationalized evil of the modern police state? The Divine Invasion "blends Judaism, Kabalah, Zoroastrianism, and Christianity into a fascinating fable of human existence"

This is supposed to the second in the VALIS trilogy. VALIS is one of my favorite books, so I obviously decided to read this. It is not so much a sequel, as it is one of the three books Dick wrote that had more to do with religion/metaphysics than with sci-fi. Apparently as he got older he really started to care about finding that ultimate TRUTH, and VALIS is a bit of an 'autobiography' in a sense. He began thinking he was having information from the future being beamed at him from a computer in the future and/or from the dog star SIRIUS. These books are the result VALIS was a steady read with a Gnostic theme, where as this one was more focused on Jewish mysticism and the ideas just seemed too scattered..especially if one isn't familiar with the subject.

6.5/10

The Revival Of Magick (Aleister Crowley)
This collection of essays and articles, many of which first appeared in Vanity Fair and other magazines and journals, shows the wide range of Crowley as an essayist. His subjects include mysticism, magick, humor, social satire, drugs, psychoanalysis, religious fundamentalism, "pop" occultism, art, divination, mythology, and drama. Also included are several passionate essays and epistlatory letters on Crowley’s new religious philosophy, Thelema.

I much prefer Crowley when he is writing about the philosophy and theory of magick...I'm not a big fan of ceremonial robes. Anyway, for all his faults, this guy mastered the English language. His essays are poetic and his poetry has always been underrated. On a technical and academic level, I didn't learn too much I already know. What I did gain from the book was Al's subjective insight into many things relevant to the "Great Work."

7.5/10

book count 9/104

Gone Baby Gone

Sorry I don't got a clever title.  Ben Affleck directed this last year.

Casey Affleck and Michelle Monaghan play private detectives hired to aid the search for a missing girl.  The more they investigate, the more crazy shit happens.  Twists galore!

Ben Affleck wrote and directed this movie based on a novel by the same guy that wrote "Mystic River".  If you liked "Mystic River", you will probably like this one.  I don't remember if I liked "Mystic River" or not.  It didn't really stick with me.  This one didn't really stick with me either.  It's definitely worth a rental or a Netflixing.  Casey Affleck's performance is almost as good as his portrayal of Bob Ford in TAOJJBTCRF, but that movie was way cooler.  This one is pretty clever, and it raises some crazy questions ("You'll be talking about it for days" the poster promises)  but I don't want to ruin anything.  The movie also had a pretty authentic feel.  I think they used a lot of locals/ugly people.  

6.99/10.00

I forgot we could review TV shows on DVD.

The Office (Seasons 1 and 2)

Cameras follow the adventures of a Pennsylvania paper company, led by Michael Scott (Steve Carell) who thinks he is the funniest, coolest, greatest boss ever.  And he isn't.  He is accompanied by Dwight Schrute, who loves martial arts, beets, and Battlestar Galactica, and Jim Halpert, who plays pranks on Dwight such as relocating his entire desk into the men's room.

The six episode first season starts off kind of slow and borrows a few episode ideas from the British original but it is still better then any sitcom on TV today, and the best since Arrested Development.   

And if it didn't get any better I would still prefer it to the original.  But the second season is pure gold.  The deleted scenes on the DVD are better then any sitcom on TV today.   Their is a lot more character and story development in the second season that neither the first season, nor the original show ever got around to doing.  Every episode is hilarious.  Just watch it if you haven't.  Don't argue with me about the original version either.  U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!

Season 1:  9/10

Season 2:  10/10

Friday Night Lights Season 1.

TV show based on the movie based on the book based on true story about high school football team in Texas.

If you liked the movie you'll probably like the show even more.  If you liked Varsity Blues, but thought it was too well acted, and the cinematography and soundtrack were too awesome, then you might not like it.  And if you don't think you'll like a show about a Texas high school football team, then you should still check it out.

It's more about the community and people and their lives and blah blah blah, but seriously it is really good.   Especially when we finally get to see hardcore Christian band "Crucifictorious" play.  Season two is going on right now, and is not as good.   Less Crucifictorious and more rapist killing.

9/10

14/150.    Do seasons count as one movie?

I work on this baby the same way, trying to get maximum performance.

Faster Pussycat! KILL!!!! KILL!!!!! (Russ Meyer)



Three strippers seeking thrills encounter a young couple in the desert. After dispatching the boyfriend, they take the girl hostage and begin scheming on a crippled old man living with his two sons in the desert, reputedly hiding a tidy sum of cash. They become houseguests of the old man and try and seduce the sons in an attempt to locate the money, not realizing that the old man has a few sinister intentions of his own.

Your grandma is kind of a babe! I approve. Pretty much what quentin tarantino was going for with "Death Proof" except without all the shitty dialog. Pretty much a bunch of broads with there tits hanging out fighting people and each other. some sweet dance moves to learn from this movie.

8/10

Bourne Supremacy (Paul Greengrass)

When a CIA sting in Berlin turns murderously wrong, everyone suspects it's the handiwork of Jason Bourne (Matt Damon). As the CIA hunts for their lost ex-killer Bourne, Bourne himself is pursued by a ruthless cartel bent on framing him up -- and leaving him dead. Franka Potente returns as Marie Helena Kreutz alongside Joan Allen as Agent Helen Landy.

I'm a fan of these movies. Matt Damon dosn't really deserve man of the year, his chin is too square. This was the weakest of the three movies, but still very entertaining. The start of the conspiracy with the Treadstone nerds. I want to go on a date with Julia Stiles, i think my girlfriend would probably allow it.

6.8/10

Once Upon a Time in the West (Sergio Leone)



This Sergio Leone classic, a tribute to Hollywood Westerns, stars Henry Fonda as Frank, a gunslinger hired by the powerful owner of a railroad conglomerate to kill anyone who derails the project. But Frank contends with the wrong person when he murders Brett (Frank Wolff), a landowner; after his death, Brett's wife (Claudia Cardinale) demands revenge, hiring two renegades (Charles Bronson and Jason Robards) to go after Frank.

probably my new favorite western, i don't know why i had waited so long to watch this. Charles Bronson is such a tough ass, and has the most amazing reason for wanting revenge ever. He is so badass he turns down the hottest Italian broad ever (your grandma is hot in this too) just so he can walk around being a badass some more. A must watch, the only reason i am not going to give this a 10 is because the main wussy railroad guy succeeds in some disappointment.

9.5/10

34/300
4/30