nerdsss

Eastern Promises (David Cronenberg)

The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to one of London's most notorious organized crime families. His carefully maintained existence is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong, who accidentally uncovers potential evidence against the family. Now Nikolai must put into motion a harrowing chain of murder, deceit, and retribution.


The Good Stuff:

• Throat Slashing. A bit of extreme violence never hurt.
• Viggo Mortensen actually seems like a believable Russian Gangster.
• Vincent Cassel is badass. I honestly believe this dude can do no wrong. I mean, he's married to Monica Bellucci for christ's sake.
• Naomi Watts: Would

The Bad Stuff:

• Incredibly Boring. Much like History of Violence, it just dragged along when people weren't getting killed. My friend says I just didn't get it but no, I got it, its boring. I love Cronenberg but Neither of his latest movies can even touch Videodrome, Crash, or Scanners.
• Awkward nude fight scene with Viggo Mortensen. Its like they wanted to counteract Naomi Watts with a scene with dicks flopping around in a sauna thingy.
• The Arsenal Fan gets his throat slit after a Chelsea match. Fucking LAME!

4/10






Persepolis (Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi)

Poignant coming-of-age story of a precocious and outspoken young Iranian girl that begins during the Islamic Revolution.

The Good Stuff:

• Solid Story
• Great Animation. I don't even usually like animated stuff, no matter what the content, but the animation made things possible that wouldn't be possible to do with live action so it held the attention quite well.
  
• Scene with the little girl buying an Iron Maiden tape via "the black market" in Tehran
• Quite entertaining. Going in, I couldn't see how this had been a movie that I had been hearing so much about because it just didn't seem like it would be that interesting but it covers the the fall of the Shah, the optimism following the Shah's regime, the war with Iraq, etc etc in a very interesting way from the point of view of a little girl.

7/10




Death Sentence (James Wan)

Nick Hume is a mild-mannered executive with a perfect life, until one gruesome night he witnesses something that changes him forever. Transformed by grief, Hume eventually comes to the disturbing conclusion that no length is too great when protecting his family.


The Good Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon blowing a dude's leg off with a shotgun.....really, thats pretty much the only good point of this movie.

The Bad Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon. Footloose was a long time ago, dude.
• The plot. I love a good revenge movie/action movie but this wasn't good at either. It was way hard to even believe that this man would take the law into his own hands and even harder to believe that he goes from a normal business man to a Charles Bronson type character that can fight off these gang members.
• I read that this is has something to do with the Deathwish movies and thats what made me check it out. Admittedly, those Deathwish movies aren't great or anything but there was no bullshit, just Charles Bronson taking care of business. This on the other hand is just a tired premise with the normal man taking revenge and it didn't work at all.
• The gang members. What a load of crap this gang was. They drive muscle cars and wear leather jackets with like pictures of snakes or something painted on them. Fucking come on, no gangs look like that.

2/10





Juno (Jason Reitman)

Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes an unusual decision regarding her unborn child.


The Good Stuff:

• Semi-funny. The line about Sonic Youth sucking and being just noise was probably the funniest part for me. The rest is just sort of mild chuckle funny.
• Schilinger from Oz playing Juno's father. He was actually pretty cool in this movie. Not Nazi prison rapist cool, but cool just the same.
• Michael Cera. This kid seriously has the awkwardness of being a teenager on lock. To tell the truth, he was the only reason I even bothered with this. I have a feeling im definitely not alone with that.

The Bad Stuff:

• The dialogue was so incredibly painful at moments. Its like they tried to squeeze as many hip and clever sayings into an hour an half as possible.
• And speaking of hip, what the fuck on all the references in this movie? Sonic Youth, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Gibson, The Melvins, hamburger phones, and all sorts of other stuff that just seemed like they were pandering to the sort of nerds that are into all of those things. (not to say that Herschell Gordon Lewis stuff is bad, quite the opposite.)
• Jennifer Garner. I just can't stand her. Its got something to do with that dumb puzzled look she always gives in movies.

5/10






Cloverfield (Matt Reeves)

Revolves around a monster attack in New York as told from the point of view of a small group of people.

Let me just start by saying that I know that this is going to be an unpopular opinion but I thought this movie was great. Ill explain though.

I thought it was great if you sat back and didn't overthink things and just watched a monster tear Manhattan apart. Like, reading all of this nerd shit all over the internet about the monster being related to some sort of Japanese drink thing or something just kills it. Nerds have really got to cool it with this whole not enjoying things because they have too many questions. Who cares where the monster comes from? Who cares about a link between the dude's company in Japan and the monster? Who cares about why the monster is tearing the city apart? WHO FUCKING CARES? I just want to sit back and watch things get destroyed. Im easy to please, i suppose but seriously, why does everyone need to know all this background stuff. Nobody cared about where Godzilla came from or what in nature created Mothra. You know why nobody cared? Because they just wanted to see shit get fucked up!


The Good Stuff:

• The monster. Some people think its dumb looking or whatever but I haven't seen a monster like that before and thats really all that counts in this case. It doesn't look like Godzilla. Thats good enough.
• Destruction. Honestly, can you beat the head of the statue of liberty flying across the city or the empire state building being knocked down? No, you can't.
• The scene in the subway. so good.
• The girl that plays Beth: would.

The Bad Stuff:

• The end. Not so great. I won't give anything away though.
• The nerds. Seriously, I am pretty nerdy but jesus christ.
• The guy who holds the camera during the movie gets annoying but its nothing you can't deal with.

7/10 Go see it. Its really a movie that has to be seen in a theater. Its not going to be as good on DVD unless you have some sort of projector and a rad sound system.






Once Upon A Time In The West (Sergio Leone)

Epic story of a mysterious stranger with a harmonica who joins forces with a notorious desperado to protect a beautiful widow from a ruthless assassin working for the railroad.

Seriously, the best western of all time and one of the best movies of all time. I don't know why it took me so long to actually see this but I had definitely been missing out. It blows the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly away.


The Good Stuff:

• Henry Fonda. Maybe one of the best villains of all time. He kills a kid in like the first half hour of the movie.
  
• Charles Bronson. He's not as good as the man with no name as Eastwood, ill admit that but he just seems to fit in way better with this movie than Eastwood would have.
• Sergio Leone's directing. I am admittedly late with getting into Leone stuff but now I know that his stuff is unique while paging homage to the great John Ford westerns that came before him.
• Claudia Cardinale. Italian women certainly added something to the western that just wasn't there before. i mean, she's a great actress in it too.
• The story. Dario Argento AND Bernardo Bertolucci, how could you go wrong with them writing it?
• Ennio Morricone's music. Its not as great as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly or Fistful of Dollars but its still leaps and bounds better than most.
  

9/10



this is my first entry. ill probably put a bit more into the next one and maybe not do it at 9:30 in the morning while chain smoking and listening to black metal.



movies (6/300)