Clive Owen is minding his own business, waiting for the bus, eating a carrot when a pregnant woman runs by and into a warehouse. She is followed by a guy who goes in after her with a gun drawn. Owen begrudgingly goes in after them. In the next few minutes he kills about thirty guys, (one with the carrot), delivers the baby while shooting another thirty guys, and by the time he shoots his gun to cut the cord I was sold. This movie is awesome.
The mom dies and Clive Owen decides to take care of the baby with the help of a prostitute named D.Q. (You can figure out what that stands for, and then figure out why.) Paul Giamatti leads a group of disposable hooligans in the chase to find Owen (alias "Mr. Smith") and kill him and the baby. The plot has something to do with bone marrow and a politician or something, but it's really unimportant. What is important, is the great one-liners (After using a severed hand to fire a gun: "Nothing like a good hand job") and over the top gun fights. Mr. Smith can do whatever he wants with a gun (or carrot). At one point he shoots bad guys until they form a pile big enough to leap off of over some cabinets, shoots the guys on the other side of the cabinets (in mid-air of course) and then shoots a cabinet drawer so that it opens up on the other side knocking out one of the goons. Genius.
9/10
Big Trouble In Little China dir. John Carpenter (1986)
Kurt Russell plays truck driver Jack Burton who gets mixed up in an adventure involving some crazy old Asian guy trying to live forever by marrying two girls. The plot is really irrelevant. I think after the first couple times I saw this movie I wouldn't have been able to even sum it up that well. Kurt Russell is hilarious as the supposed hero isn't really all that heroic but seems to think he is. It's like Jack Burton has watched a lot of action movies and always thought he could do better.
One of my all-time favorites. Perfect blend of kung-fu, action and comedy. I'm pretty sure this is what the "Rush Hour" movies wish they were. If you like this movie, you'll probably like Shoot 'Em Up, and vice versa. Not that the movies are that similar, but if you don't take movies too seriously you will enjoy both of them. If you complain that there is no way I guy could make a merry-go-round spin by shooting at the bars (Shoot 'Em Up), or you don't like seeing a guy make himself explode by filling himself with air, (Big Trouble) then go rent Atonement.
10/10
speaking of Atonement....
Atonement dir. Joe Wright (2007)
Overhyped and overboring, this Academy award nominee for best picture (stealing Shoot 'Em Up's rightful spot) is about a rich girl (Keira Knightly) who falls in love with the help (James McAvoy) but they get separated when Knightly's jealous little sister, Briony accuses McAvoy of a crime he didn't commit. Briony gets Robbie (McAvoy, the help) sent to prison, which he is released from to go fight in WWII. Briony ends up being a nurse to try and make up for what she did (rather then tell anyone she lied) and Knightly and McAvoy continue to pine for each other. I don't want to give away what happens, but let's just say I almost liked the ending, but the end of the ending made it worse. But really I didn't like this movie that much to begin with.
The whole lovers separated by war thing reminded me of "A Very Long Engagement" directed by Jean Pierre-Jeunett (Amelie) and starring Audrey Tatou (Amelie). I would say rent that one instead, even if you didn't like Amelie. No question it is far superior to "Atonement".
6/10
28/150 movies.
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