I'm Going to Rape You

I am pumped to see that people are still participating (and making first posts)
I have decided to make a new rule
i can do that sort of thing because i am awesome
from hence forth each disc of a television show series can count as one movie towards your movie count total, as long as it is not some dumb shit like everybody loves raymond (but that probably can count too)
I have been putting off posting for a few days, so hopefully I can remember everything.

The Ten (David Wain)

An all-star cast that includes Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, Jessica Alba, Oliver Platt, Liev Schreiber, Famke Janssen, Rob Corddry, Adam Brody, Ken Marino and Gretchen Mol, among others, takes part in this amusing collection of 10 irreverent tales inspired by the Ten Commandments. Nothing is sacred in this comedy anthology written by Ken Marino and director David Wain, formerly of the comedy troupe the State.

This movie was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed the state and stella etc. but was sort of wherry of this movie. It's pretty wacky, and weird as everything they have done is. Includes a scene of Winona Ryder (going inside er') fucking a wooden dummy, and a musical number with about 50 naked middle aged dudes. I guess i was anticipating this to be sort of anti Christian (im fine with the idea of this but i don't like to hear about boring) but it was really just slapstick and fun. Oh and favorite quote "yo soy hombre de vagina"

7/10

Welcome to the Dollhouse (Todd Solondz)

The horrors of junior high are vividly re-created in this darkly comic tale of painfully awkward Dawn Wiener (Heather Matarazzo), who must cope with a dreary, middle-child home life as well as with classmates who mercilessly taunt her. Writer-director Todd Solondz's unflinching look at the nightmare that is early adolescence took away prizes at both the Sundance Film Festival and the Independent Spirit Awards.

I wanted to watch this again because the book i was reading (see below) reminded me so much of it. This movie is so painful and awkward. I think it should be required watching for all kids in junior high.

8/10
Battlestar Galactica: Miniseries (Michael Rymer)

This 2003 series, based on the original TV series from 1978-80, was broadcast on the Sci-Fi Channel and instantly won a legion of admiring fans. Join Adama (Edward James Olmos) and Laura (Mary McDonnell) as they lead a ragtag fleet of human survivors (from the destroyed colonies of Kobol) in search of a mythical planet called Earth. But beware, the robot race of Cylons is in hot pursuit … and it seems nothing will stop them!

This show is pretty much the same as any sweet drama on television except with really fucking scary robots with red scanner eye things and slut bots and sweet starwarsesc visuals. Pretty much like buffy in space, and don't be scared of nerdiosity, this show being in space is really a side note. Luke you should watch this show, it's got some pretty cool sci-fi religion undertones.

8/10

Cold Mountain (Anthony Minghella)
Anthony Minghella directs this tale based on the best-selling book about wounded Civil War soldier Inman (Jude Law) making the long, treacherous journey to his home in Cold Mountain, N.C. Along the way, he thinks of his love, Ada (Nicole Kidman), who has fought for sanity and her father's farm's survival while Inman has been gone, even with a brave young drifter named Ruby (Renee Zellweger, in an Oscar-winning performance) there to lend a hand.

Despite this movie being the same as every other Oscar winning movie, it's enjoyable. Interesting because it's a civil war story told from the south's point of view (does any one know of others that do the same?) and you get to see some boobs. Well acted. Watch it with your girlfriend.

7/10

BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK

Dear Diary (Lesly Arfin)

"I hate my life" is teen speak for "Things are going pretty good." When Lesley wrote about Sheryl Rosenthal (it’s funny how you remember everyone’s first and last name like that) making her feel "retarded" back in the 6th grade, the world was a dark, lonely place and she could see no light at the end of the tunnel. When she discovered heroin, things got even worse. Today, with the perspective of only rock bottom can give you, Lesley looks back at the apocalypse that was adolescence and asks, "What the hell was I talking about?" The book is a collection of a girl’s funniest diary entries from 12 to 25 years old. She updates each entry by tracking down the people involved and asking awkward questions like, "Do you remember when I tried to beat you up?" Sometimes old friends apologize. Sometimes they become new enemies. No matter who she talks to about he days we all discovered sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, one thing become abundantly clear: Boys are totally immature.

Kind of a real life Youth in Revolt, but not quite as enjoyable. This is pretty much short little sections out of any girls diary, very generic, very unspecific, but with the twist of an adult (and vice magazine attitude) discussing why and where she was during the specific entry. The best part is interviews she conducts with the subjects of her diary. I think this is geared more twords teenage (diary) writing age girls due to the occasional "I think you should try this once, but maybe you shouldn't because it fucked up my life" speach. This whole deal was a column in vice magazine off and on so I am sure you could check out that web page for some samples.

6.5221458/10



24/300 movies
2/30 books

nerdsss

Eastern Promises (David Cronenberg)

The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to one of London's most notorious organized crime families. His carefully maintained existence is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong, who accidentally uncovers potential evidence against the family. Now Nikolai must put into motion a harrowing chain of murder, deceit, and retribution.


The Good Stuff:

• Throat Slashing. A bit of extreme violence never hurt.
• Viggo Mortensen actually seems like a believable Russian Gangster.
• Vincent Cassel is badass. I honestly believe this dude can do no wrong. I mean, he's married to Monica Bellucci for christ's sake.
• Naomi Watts: Would

The Bad Stuff:

• Incredibly Boring. Much like History of Violence, it just dragged along when people weren't getting killed. My friend says I just didn't get it but no, I got it, its boring. I love Cronenberg but Neither of his latest movies can even touch Videodrome, Crash, or Scanners.
• Awkward nude fight scene with Viggo Mortensen. Its like they wanted to counteract Naomi Watts with a scene with dicks flopping around in a sauna thingy.
• The Arsenal Fan gets his throat slit after a Chelsea match. Fucking LAME!

4/10






Persepolis (Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi)

Poignant coming-of-age story of a precocious and outspoken young Iranian girl that begins during the Islamic Revolution.

The Good Stuff:

• Solid Story
• Great Animation. I don't even usually like animated stuff, no matter what the content, but the animation made things possible that wouldn't be possible to do with live action so it held the attention quite well.
  
• Scene with the little girl buying an Iron Maiden tape via "the black market" in Tehran
• Quite entertaining. Going in, I couldn't see how this had been a movie that I had been hearing so much about because it just didn't seem like it would be that interesting but it covers the the fall of the Shah, the optimism following the Shah's regime, the war with Iraq, etc etc in a very interesting way from the point of view of a little girl.

7/10




Death Sentence (James Wan)

Nick Hume is a mild-mannered executive with a perfect life, until one gruesome night he witnesses something that changes him forever. Transformed by grief, Hume eventually comes to the disturbing conclusion that no length is too great when protecting his family.


The Good Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon blowing a dude's leg off with a shotgun.....really, thats pretty much the only good point of this movie.

The Bad Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon. Footloose was a long time ago, dude.
• The plot. I love a good revenge movie/action movie but this wasn't good at either. It was way hard to even believe that this man would take the law into his own hands and even harder to believe that he goes from a normal business man to a Charles Bronson type character that can fight off these gang members.
• I read that this is has something to do with the Deathwish movies and thats what made me check it out. Admittedly, those Deathwish movies aren't great or anything but there was no bullshit, just Charles Bronson taking care of business. This on the other hand is just a tired premise with the normal man taking revenge and it didn't work at all.
• The gang members. What a load of crap this gang was. They drive muscle cars and wear leather jackets with like pictures of snakes or something painted on them. Fucking come on, no gangs look like that.

2/10





Juno (Jason Reitman)

Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes an unusual decision regarding her unborn child.


The Good Stuff:

• Semi-funny. The line about Sonic Youth sucking and being just noise was probably the funniest part for me. The rest is just sort of mild chuckle funny.
• Schilinger from Oz playing Juno's father. He was actually pretty cool in this movie. Not Nazi prison rapist cool, but cool just the same.
• Michael Cera. This kid seriously has the awkwardness of being a teenager on lock. To tell the truth, he was the only reason I even bothered with this. I have a feeling im definitely not alone with that.

The Bad Stuff:

• The dialogue was so incredibly painful at moments. Its like they tried to squeeze as many hip and clever sayings into an hour an half as possible.
• And speaking of hip, what the fuck on all the references in this movie? Sonic Youth, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Gibson, The Melvins, hamburger phones, and all sorts of other stuff that just seemed like they were pandering to the sort of nerds that are into all of those things. (not to say that Herschell Gordon Lewis stuff is bad, quite the opposite.)
• Jennifer Garner. I just can't stand her. Its got something to do with that dumb puzzled look she always gives in movies.

5/10






Cloverfield (Matt Reeves)

Revolves around a monster attack in New York as told from the point of view of a small group of people.

Let me just start by saying that I know that this is going to be an unpopular opinion but I thought this movie was great. Ill explain though.

I thought it was great if you sat back and didn't overthink things and just watched a monster tear Manhattan apart. Like, reading all of this nerd shit all over the internet about the monster being related to some sort of Japanese drink thing or something just kills it. Nerds have really got to cool it with this whole not enjoying things because they have too many questions. Who cares where the monster comes from? Who cares about a link between the dude's company in Japan and the monster? Who cares about why the monster is tearing the city apart? WHO FUCKING CARES? I just want to sit back and watch things get destroyed. Im easy to please, i suppose but seriously, why does everyone need to know all this background stuff. Nobody cared about where Godzilla came from or what in nature created Mothra. You know why nobody cared? Because they just wanted to see shit get fucked up!


The Good Stuff:

• The monster. Some people think its dumb looking or whatever but I haven't seen a monster like that before and thats really all that counts in this case. It doesn't look like Godzilla. Thats good enough.
• Destruction. Honestly, can you beat the head of the statue of liberty flying across the city or the empire state building being knocked down? No, you can't.
• The scene in the subway. so good.
• The girl that plays Beth: would.

The Bad Stuff:

• The end. Not so great. I won't give anything away though.
• The nerds. Seriously, I am pretty nerdy but jesus christ.
• The guy who holds the camera during the movie gets annoying but its nothing you can't deal with.

7/10 Go see it. Its really a movie that has to be seen in a theater. Its not going to be as good on DVD unless you have some sort of projector and a rad sound system.






Once Upon A Time In The West (Sergio Leone)

Epic story of a mysterious stranger with a harmonica who joins forces with a notorious desperado to protect a beautiful widow from a ruthless assassin working for the railroad.

Seriously, the best western of all time and one of the best movies of all time. I don't know why it took me so long to actually see this but I had definitely been missing out. It blows the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly away.


The Good Stuff:

• Henry Fonda. Maybe one of the best villains of all time. He kills a kid in like the first half hour of the movie.
  
• Charles Bronson. He's not as good as the man with no name as Eastwood, ill admit that but he just seems to fit in way better with this movie than Eastwood would have.
• Sergio Leone's directing. I am admittedly late with getting into Leone stuff but now I know that his stuff is unique while paging homage to the great John Ford westerns that came before him.
• Claudia Cardinale. Italian women certainly added something to the western that just wasn't there before. i mean, she's a great actress in it too.
• The story. Dario Argento AND Bernardo Bertolucci, how could you go wrong with them writing it?
• Ennio Morricone's music. Its not as great as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly or Fistful of Dollars but its still leaps and bounds better than most.
  

9/10



this is my first entry. ill probably put a bit more into the next one and maybe not do it at 9:30 in the morning while chain smoking and listening to black metal.



movies (6/300)

Equilibrium Kurt Wimmer

In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: Books, art and music are strictly forbidden, and feeling is a crime punishable by death -- a rule that's enforced by feeding the denizens a mood-limiting drug. John Preston (Christian Bale) is a top government official responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. But when he misses a dose of his own medication, he experiences a pang of conscience. …

This movie does what the Matrix couldn't do for me - it makes me enjoy watching ridiculous and impossible fight scenes. The martial arts and Christian Bale make it easy to ignore the plot holes.

7.5/10

movie count
6 of 156

Cosmic Trigger II: Down to Earth and
Cosmic Trigger III: My Life After Death Robert Anton Wilson

Unlike the first Cosmic Trigger, these two have no real main focus. Conspiracies, synchronicities, straight pride, the Rosicrusians, sex, Freemasonry, dogs and Hannibal Lecter - imagine Robert Anton Wilson bathroom readers. Each chapter is only a few pages long and are basically just 'random' thoughts, rants, theories, etc. but all eventually connect at the end in typical RAW fashion. Awesome.

10/10

4 of 104

zeeee germahns

Die Hard: With a Vengeance (John McTiernan)



Bruce Willis is back and kicking bad-guy butt as New York detective John McClane in the third installment of this action-packed series. McClane thought he'd seen it all, until a genius named Simon (Jeremy Irons) engages McClane -- and his beloved city -- in a deadly game. McClane has seen his share of bad days … but this one just might top them all. Directed by John McTiernan (The Hunt for Red October, Rollerball).


McClane Vs. Zee Germahns again. This time with added swearing from Sam Jackson. A must see action.

8/10

Edukators

Friends Jan (Daniel Bruhl) and Peter (Stipe Erceg) use a membership list from the city's yacht club to break into mansions. They don't steal, but instead stack furniture, put artworks in the toilet and stereos in the fridge, then leave a note saying, "Your days of plenty are numbered," signed The Edukators. Director Hans Weingartner grafts all the elements of a thriller onto a fascinating discussion of the need for kids to rebel … peaceably.

Keeping the german theme alive this week i guess. I watched this sort of generic teen movie with my girlfiried, she loves germanness, im not impressed. A pretty stereotypical love triangle movie, add a little kidnappin in for fun, and ta-da, you have a movie. Worth watching once.

6.5/10

R. Crumb Hand Book


THE R. CRUMB HANDBOOK is a brand new take on the life, trials and ideas of one of the most influential cartoonists of the last 40 years. Wry, self-deprecating, and candid, this is an exceptionally revealing and unexpectedly moving visual biography. Crumb is thoughtful and enlightening, with insights into 20th century popular culture that are hilarious, challenging, and acidly satirical. He casts an unblinking eye onto the underbelly of modern life, an urban nightmare of human weakness, lust, terror, and cruelty, all seen through the comic lens of his satire. Simultaneously, he weaves in the surreal narrative of his personal evolution from his tormented childhood in the 1940s through to his coming of age as an artist in the psychedelic revolution of the 1960s. With over 50 personal photographs, and 300 images taken from his sketchbooks and comic books, as well as fine art from museums, THE R. CRUMB HANDBOOK tells it like it is!

This book is a sort of biography/autobiography of Robert Crumb. A very entertaining read exspecially if you have not already seen the numerous Crumb movies that exist. Lots of great comic book strip examples plus a great time line from acid freak to old age. The CD that comes with this is amazing as well, lots of sweet old timey swing/jazz/weirdness.

8/10

20/300 movies
1/30 books

baptized in tar

3 more to add for this week, plan on watching at least one more today.


1.) Adaptation (Jonze)
Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage) is a Los Angeles screenwriter battling enormous feelings of insecurity and impotence as he struggles to adapt The Orchid Thief, a book by Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep) whose main character, John Laroche (Chris Cooper), searches for love. Add to the mix Charlie's twin brother, Donald (also played by Cage), and you have a surreal, Spike Jonze-directed gem about the search for passion.

This might be my all time favorite movie. It boggles the brain, writing a movie about writing a movie as one plot, turmoil between brothers (both played by nick cage) as another, and finally a strange affair between a toothless Chris Cooper and meryl streep. All this, yet still cognizant and very entertaining, sad, and hilarious.

9.5/10

Riki-Oh (Ngai Kai Lam)


When his drug-addicted girlfriend commits suicide, Riki-Oh offs her dealer and finds himself locked up in a prison where the accused have no rights and very little hope. The other inmates torture Riki-Oh with a stunning variety of implements (which include pretty much anything at hand), but he fights back as if his life depended on it -- which it does!

Riki-oh more like ridi-culous. Awesome campy gore fest. Strange lost in translation story line. A weird prison that is allows you to have weapons and run free most of the time. Punches that explode jaws. What more could you really ask for.

7/10

The Jacket
John Maybury's masterful thriller stars Adrien Brody as Jack Starks, a Persian Gulf War veteran who has lost his memories to amnesia. When Jack is accused of a heinous killing, he realizes he must find a way to prove his innocence. Desperate to unearth clues about his past, he seeks a controversial treatment that allows him to go back in time -- which turns out to be a heart-wrenching decision when he realizes he's destined for tragedy.

I watched this based on how Luke reviewed it, so this board is good for something. I really enjoyed it. I would call it "Mememto" and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." About time travel, tragedy, fucked up medical practices and how babearific Keira Knightley is. Some plot holes and slower parts, but definitely my favorite of the "donnie darko" type movies that came out in a big bundle a few years back.

7.5/10

18/300 movies
0/30 books

Unleash the bats from the belltower, Bela Lugosi is dead.

yay for stuff! I need to get crackin on books. I read slow.

Hot Rod(Shaffer)

Rod Kimble is a naïf, a slacker living in a small US town with his mom, his younger brother, and his stepfather whose respect he craves. He also misses his dead dad, whom he thinks was Evel Knievel's back-up. Rod, a man-child, believes that he is a stunt man. When his stepfather needs an operation, with help from his brother and his slacker pals, Rod hatches a plan to set a school-bus-jumping record on his moped. First, his crew and he have to raise money to rent the buses and build the ramp. Trouble is, Rod's inept at his chosen career. Looming failure is complicated by the return of Denise, Rod's next-door neighbor and secret heartthrob, who is home from college. Is public humiliation at hand?

At first thought I was sure this movie was going to be all kinds of shitty but I was definatly wrong. This is probably my favorite comedy of 2007. It beat the shit out of Superbad. It had some stupid silly stuff but all in all it was pretty great off the wall humor. Really Glad I decided to see this movie.

9/10

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry(Dugan)

Chuck Levine and Larry Valentine are two firefighters. They are good friends. However, Larry is a widower (with two small children) and Chuck is single.

Larry dares Chuck one day to eat a dead rat, but he falls from the ladder that he was going to the drop the rat from. Chuck saves him but the two are rushed to the hospital and quickly recover. Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his two kids as his pension beneficiaries. All that Chuck has to do is claim to be Larry's domestic partner on some city forms. They think it will be easy because nobody will ever know. After Chuck agrees to the ruse (though reluctantly so, due in large part to his notorious womanizing), the two men go to Niagara Falls to get married, and Chuck moves in with Larry and his unsuspecting kids.

But an official becomes suspicious, and the new couple's arrangement becomes a citywide issue and goes from confidential to front-page news. Forced to improvise as love-struck newlyweds, Chuck and Larry must now fumble through a charade of domestic bliss under one roof. After surviving their mandatory honeymoon and dodging the threat of exposure, the well-intentioned con men discover that sticking together in your time of need is what truly makes a family.


I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry was a cute movie. Parts that made you lol. Parts that show what gay people have to put up with. The plotline was kinda dumb. But the cameos were all great. Plus Ving Rhames as a gay firefighter and naked in the shower. You can't really say no to that. It was also co-written by our very own Alexander Payne.

6/10

Punk:Attitude(Letts)

Punk: Attitude is a documentary on the history of punk rock in the USA and UK. The film traces the different styles of punk from their roots in 60s garage and psychedelic bands (Count Five, the Stooges) through glam-punk (New York Dolls) to the 70s New York and London scenes and into the hardcore present. Interviews with many of the musicians are edited with live clips and historical footage.

This was a pretty good documentary on punk rock and post punk and hardcore. I wish it focused a bit on some bands that I though needed to be focused on but other then that I really enjoyed it. Had some really cool people interviewed in it (Henry Rollins, Thurston Moore, Siouxsie Sioux, Poly Styrene).

7/10


8 out of 150

i am jakob ramnes?

well first a bit of news
i figured out how to give every one else admin access
so you should now be able to invite other users to the blog thing
and i also invited two kids from north carolina
bricks fall from their vaginas
internet movie gossip friends
so we should have more input
also i started reading childhoods end
but have been slacking on my movie watching
i am planing on watching some tonight to catch back up though

Wake Up Ron Burgundy
Haven't had enough of Anchorman's Will Ferrell and Christina Applegate? Outrageous and decidedly macho newscaster Ron Burgundy (Ferrell) is so incorrigible, one movie just wasn't enough for him. You'll love this second outing -- a bonus disc that gives viewers more of the Saturday Night Live alum's comic genius and uncanny timing by collecting unused footage from the original movie and spinning yet another hilarious romp.

This is part another "ron burgundy" movie, and part extra dvd material. It's basically the same humor just a different plot. It really doesn't deliver though, poor timing, poor writing, and a poor plot. Definitely glad this stayed an extra and out of the regular cut of the movie.

4/10

15 of 300 movies
0 of 30 books