I'm Going to Rape You

I am pumped to see that people are still participating (and making first posts)
I have decided to make a new rule
i can do that sort of thing because i am awesome
from hence forth each disc of a television show series can count as one movie towards your movie count total, as long as it is not some dumb shit like everybody loves raymond (but that probably can count too)
I have been putting off posting for a few days, so hopefully I can remember everything.

The Ten (David Wain)

An all-star cast that includes Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, Jessica Alba, Oliver Platt, Liev Schreiber, Famke Janssen, Rob Corddry, Adam Brody, Ken Marino and Gretchen Mol, among others, takes part in this amusing collection of 10 irreverent tales inspired by the Ten Commandments. Nothing is sacred in this comedy anthology written by Ken Marino and director David Wain, formerly of the comedy troupe the State.

This movie was a pleasant surprise. I enjoyed the state and stella etc. but was sort of wherry of this movie. It's pretty wacky, and weird as everything they have done is. Includes a scene of Winona Ryder (going inside er') fucking a wooden dummy, and a musical number with about 50 naked middle aged dudes. I guess i was anticipating this to be sort of anti Christian (im fine with the idea of this but i don't like to hear about boring) but it was really just slapstick and fun. Oh and favorite quote "yo soy hombre de vagina"

7/10

Welcome to the Dollhouse (Todd Solondz)

The horrors of junior high are vividly re-created in this darkly comic tale of painfully awkward Dawn Wiener (Heather Matarazzo), who must cope with a dreary, middle-child home life as well as with classmates who mercilessly taunt her. Writer-director Todd Solondz's unflinching look at the nightmare that is early adolescence took away prizes at both the Sundance Film Festival and the Independent Spirit Awards.

I wanted to watch this again because the book i was reading (see below) reminded me so much of it. This movie is so painful and awkward. I think it should be required watching for all kids in junior high.

8/10
Battlestar Galactica: Miniseries (Michael Rymer)

This 2003 series, based on the original TV series from 1978-80, was broadcast on the Sci-Fi Channel and instantly won a legion of admiring fans. Join Adama (Edward James Olmos) and Laura (Mary McDonnell) as they lead a ragtag fleet of human survivors (from the destroyed colonies of Kobol) in search of a mythical planet called Earth. But beware, the robot race of Cylons is in hot pursuit … and it seems nothing will stop them!

This show is pretty much the same as any sweet drama on television except with really fucking scary robots with red scanner eye things and slut bots and sweet starwarsesc visuals. Pretty much like buffy in space, and don't be scared of nerdiosity, this show being in space is really a side note. Luke you should watch this show, it's got some pretty cool sci-fi religion undertones.

8/10

Cold Mountain (Anthony Minghella)
Anthony Minghella directs this tale based on the best-selling book about wounded Civil War soldier Inman (Jude Law) making the long, treacherous journey to his home in Cold Mountain, N.C. Along the way, he thinks of his love, Ada (Nicole Kidman), who has fought for sanity and her father's farm's survival while Inman has been gone, even with a brave young drifter named Ruby (Renee Zellweger, in an Oscar-winning performance) there to lend a hand.

Despite this movie being the same as every other Oscar winning movie, it's enjoyable. Interesting because it's a civil war story told from the south's point of view (does any one know of others that do the same?) and you get to see some boobs. Well acted. Watch it with your girlfriend.

7/10

BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK

Dear Diary (Lesly Arfin)

"I hate my life" is teen speak for "Things are going pretty good." When Lesley wrote about Sheryl Rosenthal (it’s funny how you remember everyone’s first and last name like that) making her feel "retarded" back in the 6th grade, the world was a dark, lonely place and she could see no light at the end of the tunnel. When she discovered heroin, things got even worse. Today, with the perspective of only rock bottom can give you, Lesley looks back at the apocalypse that was adolescence and asks, "What the hell was I talking about?" The book is a collection of a girl’s funniest diary entries from 12 to 25 years old. She updates each entry by tracking down the people involved and asking awkward questions like, "Do you remember when I tried to beat you up?" Sometimes old friends apologize. Sometimes they become new enemies. No matter who she talks to about he days we all discovered sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, one thing become abundantly clear: Boys are totally immature.

Kind of a real life Youth in Revolt, but not quite as enjoyable. This is pretty much short little sections out of any girls diary, very generic, very unspecific, but with the twist of an adult (and vice magazine attitude) discussing why and where she was during the specific entry. The best part is interviews she conducts with the subjects of her diary. I think this is geared more twords teenage (diary) writing age girls due to the occasional "I think you should try this once, but maybe you shouldn't because it fucked up my life" speach. This whole deal was a column in vice magazine off and on so I am sure you could check out that web page for some samples.

6.5221458/10



24/300 movies
2/30 books

nerdsss

Eastern Promises (David Cronenberg)

The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to one of London's most notorious organized crime families. His carefully maintained existence is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong, who accidentally uncovers potential evidence against the family. Now Nikolai must put into motion a harrowing chain of murder, deceit, and retribution.


The Good Stuff:

• Throat Slashing. A bit of extreme violence never hurt.
• Viggo Mortensen actually seems like a believable Russian Gangster.
• Vincent Cassel is badass. I honestly believe this dude can do no wrong. I mean, he's married to Monica Bellucci for christ's sake.
• Naomi Watts: Would

The Bad Stuff:

• Incredibly Boring. Much like History of Violence, it just dragged along when people weren't getting killed. My friend says I just didn't get it but no, I got it, its boring. I love Cronenberg but Neither of his latest movies can even touch Videodrome, Crash, or Scanners.
• Awkward nude fight scene with Viggo Mortensen. Its like they wanted to counteract Naomi Watts with a scene with dicks flopping around in a sauna thingy.
• The Arsenal Fan gets his throat slit after a Chelsea match. Fucking LAME!

4/10






Persepolis (Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi)

Poignant coming-of-age story of a precocious and outspoken young Iranian girl that begins during the Islamic Revolution.

The Good Stuff:

• Solid Story
• Great Animation. I don't even usually like animated stuff, no matter what the content, but the animation made things possible that wouldn't be possible to do with live action so it held the attention quite well.
  
• Scene with the little girl buying an Iron Maiden tape via "the black market" in Tehran
• Quite entertaining. Going in, I couldn't see how this had been a movie that I had been hearing so much about because it just didn't seem like it would be that interesting but it covers the the fall of the Shah, the optimism following the Shah's regime, the war with Iraq, etc etc in a very interesting way from the point of view of a little girl.

7/10




Death Sentence (James Wan)

Nick Hume is a mild-mannered executive with a perfect life, until one gruesome night he witnesses something that changes him forever. Transformed by grief, Hume eventually comes to the disturbing conclusion that no length is too great when protecting his family.


The Good Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon blowing a dude's leg off with a shotgun.....really, thats pretty much the only good point of this movie.

The Bad Stuff:

• Kevin Bacon. Footloose was a long time ago, dude.
• The plot. I love a good revenge movie/action movie but this wasn't good at either. It was way hard to even believe that this man would take the law into his own hands and even harder to believe that he goes from a normal business man to a Charles Bronson type character that can fight off these gang members.
• I read that this is has something to do with the Deathwish movies and thats what made me check it out. Admittedly, those Deathwish movies aren't great or anything but there was no bullshit, just Charles Bronson taking care of business. This on the other hand is just a tired premise with the normal man taking revenge and it didn't work at all.
• The gang members. What a load of crap this gang was. They drive muscle cars and wear leather jackets with like pictures of snakes or something painted on them. Fucking come on, no gangs look like that.

2/10





Juno (Jason Reitman)

Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes an unusual decision regarding her unborn child.


The Good Stuff:

• Semi-funny. The line about Sonic Youth sucking and being just noise was probably the funniest part for me. The rest is just sort of mild chuckle funny.
• Schilinger from Oz playing Juno's father. He was actually pretty cool in this movie. Not Nazi prison rapist cool, but cool just the same.
• Michael Cera. This kid seriously has the awkwardness of being a teenager on lock. To tell the truth, he was the only reason I even bothered with this. I have a feeling im definitely not alone with that.

The Bad Stuff:

• The dialogue was so incredibly painful at moments. Its like they tried to squeeze as many hip and clever sayings into an hour an half as possible.
• And speaking of hip, what the fuck on all the references in this movie? Sonic Youth, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Gibson, The Melvins, hamburger phones, and all sorts of other stuff that just seemed like they were pandering to the sort of nerds that are into all of those things. (not to say that Herschell Gordon Lewis stuff is bad, quite the opposite.)
• Jennifer Garner. I just can't stand her. Its got something to do with that dumb puzzled look she always gives in movies.

5/10






Cloverfield (Matt Reeves)

Revolves around a monster attack in New York as told from the point of view of a small group of people.

Let me just start by saying that I know that this is going to be an unpopular opinion but I thought this movie was great. Ill explain though.

I thought it was great if you sat back and didn't overthink things and just watched a monster tear Manhattan apart. Like, reading all of this nerd shit all over the internet about the monster being related to some sort of Japanese drink thing or something just kills it. Nerds have really got to cool it with this whole not enjoying things because they have too many questions. Who cares where the monster comes from? Who cares about a link between the dude's company in Japan and the monster? Who cares about why the monster is tearing the city apart? WHO FUCKING CARES? I just want to sit back and watch things get destroyed. Im easy to please, i suppose but seriously, why does everyone need to know all this background stuff. Nobody cared about where Godzilla came from or what in nature created Mothra. You know why nobody cared? Because they just wanted to see shit get fucked up!


The Good Stuff:

• The monster. Some people think its dumb looking or whatever but I haven't seen a monster like that before and thats really all that counts in this case. It doesn't look like Godzilla. Thats good enough.
• Destruction. Honestly, can you beat the head of the statue of liberty flying across the city or the empire state building being knocked down? No, you can't.
• The scene in the subway. so good.
• The girl that plays Beth: would.

The Bad Stuff:

• The end. Not so great. I won't give anything away though.
• The nerds. Seriously, I am pretty nerdy but jesus christ.
• The guy who holds the camera during the movie gets annoying but its nothing you can't deal with.

7/10 Go see it. Its really a movie that has to be seen in a theater. Its not going to be as good on DVD unless you have some sort of projector and a rad sound system.






Once Upon A Time In The West (Sergio Leone)

Epic story of a mysterious stranger with a harmonica who joins forces with a notorious desperado to protect a beautiful widow from a ruthless assassin working for the railroad.

Seriously, the best western of all time and one of the best movies of all time. I don't know why it took me so long to actually see this but I had definitely been missing out. It blows the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly away.


The Good Stuff:

• Henry Fonda. Maybe one of the best villains of all time. He kills a kid in like the first half hour of the movie.
  
• Charles Bronson. He's not as good as the man with no name as Eastwood, ill admit that but he just seems to fit in way better with this movie than Eastwood would have.
• Sergio Leone's directing. I am admittedly late with getting into Leone stuff but now I know that his stuff is unique while paging homage to the great John Ford westerns that came before him.
• Claudia Cardinale. Italian women certainly added something to the western that just wasn't there before. i mean, she's a great actress in it too.
• The story. Dario Argento AND Bernardo Bertolucci, how could you go wrong with them writing it?
• Ennio Morricone's music. Its not as great as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly or Fistful of Dollars but its still leaps and bounds better than most.
  

9/10



this is my first entry. ill probably put a bit more into the next one and maybe not do it at 9:30 in the morning while chain smoking and listening to black metal.



movies (6/300)

Equilibrium Kurt Wimmer

In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: Books, art and music are strictly forbidden, and feeling is a crime punishable by death -- a rule that's enforced by feeding the denizens a mood-limiting drug. John Preston (Christian Bale) is a top government official responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. But when he misses a dose of his own medication, he experiences a pang of conscience. …

This movie does what the Matrix couldn't do for me - it makes me enjoy watching ridiculous and impossible fight scenes. The martial arts and Christian Bale make it easy to ignore the plot holes.

7.5/10

movie count
6 of 156

Cosmic Trigger II: Down to Earth and
Cosmic Trigger III: My Life After Death Robert Anton Wilson

Unlike the first Cosmic Trigger, these two have no real main focus. Conspiracies, synchronicities, straight pride, the Rosicrusians, sex, Freemasonry, dogs and Hannibal Lecter - imagine Robert Anton Wilson bathroom readers. Each chapter is only a few pages long and are basically just 'random' thoughts, rants, theories, etc. but all eventually connect at the end in typical RAW fashion. Awesome.

10/10

4 of 104

zeeee germahns

Die Hard: With a Vengeance (John McTiernan)



Bruce Willis is back and kicking bad-guy butt as New York detective John McClane in the third installment of this action-packed series. McClane thought he'd seen it all, until a genius named Simon (Jeremy Irons) engages McClane -- and his beloved city -- in a deadly game. McClane has seen his share of bad days … but this one just might top them all. Directed by John McTiernan (The Hunt for Red October, Rollerball).


McClane Vs. Zee Germahns again. This time with added swearing from Sam Jackson. A must see action.

8/10

Edukators

Friends Jan (Daniel Bruhl) and Peter (Stipe Erceg) use a membership list from the city's yacht club to break into mansions. They don't steal, but instead stack furniture, put artworks in the toilet and stereos in the fridge, then leave a note saying, "Your days of plenty are numbered," signed The Edukators. Director Hans Weingartner grafts all the elements of a thriller onto a fascinating discussion of the need for kids to rebel … peaceably.

Keeping the german theme alive this week i guess. I watched this sort of generic teen movie with my girlfiried, she loves germanness, im not impressed. A pretty stereotypical love triangle movie, add a little kidnappin in for fun, and ta-da, you have a movie. Worth watching once.

6.5/10

R. Crumb Hand Book


THE R. CRUMB HANDBOOK is a brand new take on the life, trials and ideas of one of the most influential cartoonists of the last 40 years. Wry, self-deprecating, and candid, this is an exceptionally revealing and unexpectedly moving visual biography. Crumb is thoughtful and enlightening, with insights into 20th century popular culture that are hilarious, challenging, and acidly satirical. He casts an unblinking eye onto the underbelly of modern life, an urban nightmare of human weakness, lust, terror, and cruelty, all seen through the comic lens of his satire. Simultaneously, he weaves in the surreal narrative of his personal evolution from his tormented childhood in the 1940s through to his coming of age as an artist in the psychedelic revolution of the 1960s. With over 50 personal photographs, and 300 images taken from his sketchbooks and comic books, as well as fine art from museums, THE R. CRUMB HANDBOOK tells it like it is!

This book is a sort of biography/autobiography of Robert Crumb. A very entertaining read exspecially if you have not already seen the numerous Crumb movies that exist. Lots of great comic book strip examples plus a great time line from acid freak to old age. The CD that comes with this is amazing as well, lots of sweet old timey swing/jazz/weirdness.

8/10

20/300 movies
1/30 books

baptized in tar

3 more to add for this week, plan on watching at least one more today.


1.) Adaptation (Jonze)
Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage) is a Los Angeles screenwriter battling enormous feelings of insecurity and impotence as he struggles to adapt The Orchid Thief, a book by Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep) whose main character, John Laroche (Chris Cooper), searches for love. Add to the mix Charlie's twin brother, Donald (also played by Cage), and you have a surreal, Spike Jonze-directed gem about the search for passion.

This might be my all time favorite movie. It boggles the brain, writing a movie about writing a movie as one plot, turmoil between brothers (both played by nick cage) as another, and finally a strange affair between a toothless Chris Cooper and meryl streep. All this, yet still cognizant and very entertaining, sad, and hilarious.

9.5/10

Riki-Oh (Ngai Kai Lam)


When his drug-addicted girlfriend commits suicide, Riki-Oh offs her dealer and finds himself locked up in a prison where the accused have no rights and very little hope. The other inmates torture Riki-Oh with a stunning variety of implements (which include pretty much anything at hand), but he fights back as if his life depended on it -- which it does!

Riki-oh more like ridi-culous. Awesome campy gore fest. Strange lost in translation story line. A weird prison that is allows you to have weapons and run free most of the time. Punches that explode jaws. What more could you really ask for.

7/10

The Jacket
John Maybury's masterful thriller stars Adrien Brody as Jack Starks, a Persian Gulf War veteran who has lost his memories to amnesia. When Jack is accused of a heinous killing, he realizes he must find a way to prove his innocence. Desperate to unearth clues about his past, he seeks a controversial treatment that allows him to go back in time -- which turns out to be a heart-wrenching decision when he realizes he's destined for tragedy.

I watched this based on how Luke reviewed it, so this board is good for something. I really enjoyed it. I would call it "Mememto" and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." About time travel, tragedy, fucked up medical practices and how babearific Keira Knightley is. Some plot holes and slower parts, but definitely my favorite of the "donnie darko" type movies that came out in a big bundle a few years back.

7.5/10

18/300 movies
0/30 books

Unleash the bats from the belltower, Bela Lugosi is dead.

yay for stuff! I need to get crackin on books. I read slow.

Hot Rod(Shaffer)

Rod Kimble is a naïf, a slacker living in a small US town with his mom, his younger brother, and his stepfather whose respect he craves. He also misses his dead dad, whom he thinks was Evel Knievel's back-up. Rod, a man-child, believes that he is a stunt man. When his stepfather needs an operation, with help from his brother and his slacker pals, Rod hatches a plan to set a school-bus-jumping record on his moped. First, his crew and he have to raise money to rent the buses and build the ramp. Trouble is, Rod's inept at his chosen career. Looming failure is complicated by the return of Denise, Rod's next-door neighbor and secret heartthrob, who is home from college. Is public humiliation at hand?

At first thought I was sure this movie was going to be all kinds of shitty but I was definatly wrong. This is probably my favorite comedy of 2007. It beat the shit out of Superbad. It had some stupid silly stuff but all in all it was pretty great off the wall humor. Really Glad I decided to see this movie.

9/10

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry(Dugan)

Chuck Levine and Larry Valentine are two firefighters. They are good friends. However, Larry is a widower (with two small children) and Chuck is single.

Larry dares Chuck one day to eat a dead rat, but he falls from the ladder that he was going to the drop the rat from. Chuck saves him but the two are rushed to the hospital and quickly recover. Larry calls in that favor big time when civic red tape prevents him from naming his two kids as his pension beneficiaries. All that Chuck has to do is claim to be Larry's domestic partner on some city forms. They think it will be easy because nobody will ever know. After Chuck agrees to the ruse (though reluctantly so, due in large part to his notorious womanizing), the two men go to Niagara Falls to get married, and Chuck moves in with Larry and his unsuspecting kids.

But an official becomes suspicious, and the new couple's arrangement becomes a citywide issue and goes from confidential to front-page news. Forced to improvise as love-struck newlyweds, Chuck and Larry must now fumble through a charade of domestic bliss under one roof. After surviving their mandatory honeymoon and dodging the threat of exposure, the well-intentioned con men discover that sticking together in your time of need is what truly makes a family.


I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry was a cute movie. Parts that made you lol. Parts that show what gay people have to put up with. The plotline was kinda dumb. But the cameos were all great. Plus Ving Rhames as a gay firefighter and naked in the shower. You can't really say no to that. It was also co-written by our very own Alexander Payne.

6/10

Punk:Attitude(Letts)

Punk: Attitude is a documentary on the history of punk rock in the USA and UK. The film traces the different styles of punk from their roots in 60s garage and psychedelic bands (Count Five, the Stooges) through glam-punk (New York Dolls) to the 70s New York and London scenes and into the hardcore present. Interviews with many of the musicians are edited with live clips and historical footage.

This was a pretty good documentary on punk rock and post punk and hardcore. I wish it focused a bit on some bands that I though needed to be focused on but other then that I really enjoyed it. Had some really cool people interviewed in it (Henry Rollins, Thurston Moore, Siouxsie Sioux, Poly Styrene).

7/10


8 out of 150

i am jakob ramnes?

well first a bit of news
i figured out how to give every one else admin access
so you should now be able to invite other users to the blog thing
and i also invited two kids from north carolina
bricks fall from their vaginas
internet movie gossip friends
so we should have more input
also i started reading childhoods end
but have been slacking on my movie watching
i am planing on watching some tonight to catch back up though

Wake Up Ron Burgundy
Haven't had enough of Anchorman's Will Ferrell and Christina Applegate? Outrageous and decidedly macho newscaster Ron Burgundy (Ferrell) is so incorrigible, one movie just wasn't enough for him. You'll love this second outing -- a bonus disc that gives viewers more of the Saturday Night Live alum's comic genius and uncanny timing by collecting unused footage from the original movie and spinning yet another hilarious romp.

This is part another "ron burgundy" movie, and part extra dvd material. It's basically the same humor just a different plot. It really doesn't deliver though, poor timing, poor writing, and a poor plot. Definitely glad this stayed an extra and out of the regular cut of the movie.

4/10

15 of 300 movies
0 of 30 books

I'M PROUD TO BE A CUTTER!!!!

Breaking Away(Yates)

Dave, nineteen, has just graduated high school, with his 3 friends, The comical Cyril, the warm hearted but short-tempered Moocher, and the athletic, spiteful but good-hearted Mike. Now, Dave enjoys racing bikes and hopes to race the Italians one day, and even takes up the Italian culture, much to his friends and parents annoyance. While meanwhile, the 4 friends try to break away from their townie, Indiana reputation while fighting with nearby college snobs.


Yeah this movie basically rules. Its #8 on afi's top inspirational movies and won an Oscar. A young Dennis Quaid and a slightly grown up Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This is easily my favorite sports/inspirational movie.


10/10

5 out of 150

Gekochter Fisch!

Sunshine (Danny Boyle)
With Earth's life source -- the sun -- dying out 50 years in the future, it seems the planet's days may be numbered in this sci-fi thriller starring Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh. Humanity's only hope lies with a crew of astronauts transporting a device that will revitalize the sun. But an accident, a deadly error and a distress signal from a vessel that vanished years ago leave the cosmonauts fighting for survival ... and for their sanity.

I too feel this is the best movie I've seen from 2007. The characters, visuals and music were powerful. I cannot understand why I read such horrible reviews last year.

8/10

movie count
4 of 156

Childhood's End (Arthur C. Clarke)
The Overlords appeared suddenly over every city-intellectually, technologically, and militarily superior to humankind. Benevolent, they made few demands: unify earth, eliminate poverty, and end war. With little rebellion, humankind agreed, and a golden age began.

But at what cost? With the advent of peace, man ceases to strive for creative greatness, and a malaise settles over the human race. To those who resist, it becomes evident that the Overlords have an agenda of their own. As civilization approaches the crossroads, will the Overlords spell the end for humankind. . .or the beginning?

Jake, read this book asap. It is one of the best books I have ever read. It is a science fiction/space story with constant philosophical commentary throughout I've never ready anything else by Arthur C. Clarke, but I plan to now. He is an incredible story teller and I was completely absorbed. I read the book in two sittings. I can't even begin to comment on the amount of subjects covered in this book. Just read it.

10/10

book count
2 of 104

you are one ugly mother fucker

predator 2 (stephen hopkins)

Ten years after a band of mercenaries first battled a vicious alien, the invisible creature from another world has returned to Earth -- and this time, it's drawn to the gang-ruled and ravaged city of Los Angeles. When it starts murdering drug dealers, detective-lieutenant Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover) and his police force set out to capture the creature, ignoring warnings from a mysterious government agent to stay away.

This movie is pretty terrible, but very entertaining. It's basically about danny glover sweating a lot, Bill paxton saying awesome shit, and the predator killing gang members.

6.5/10

Intolerable Cruelty (coen brothers)
Slick Beverly Hills divorce lawyer Miles Massey (George Clooney) falls for Marilyn, the ex-wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) of one of his clients, in this old-fashioned screwball comedy from the Coen brothers. Soon the two are involved in a lighthearted game of cat and mouse -- with love on the line, the stakes are worth playing for.

The second worst coen brothers movie. Basically a romantic screwy comedy. It is behind only ladykillers as a "god dammit" coen brothers. It does have it's moments and it's character's and dialog are distinctly coen brothers. It's sort of disgusting really, about getting married with the intention of getting divorced for money.

6/10

14 of 300 movies
0 of 30 books

where is my mind?

First I want to say that Luke when I was reading your review of 300 the only thing going through my mind was how lame that movie was except for the lead guy being way fucking hot in leather bikini thing and when he was naked and wondering if you were going to mention me somewhere in there. Then when you actually did I laughed pretty hard. You rule.

Glass Shield (Charles Burnett)

J.J. is a rookie in the Sheriff's Department and the first black officer at that station. Racial tensions run high in the department as some of J.J.'s fellow officers resent his presence. His only real friend is the other new trooper, the first female officer to work there, who also suffers similar discrimination in the otherwise all-white-male work environment. When J.J. becomes increasingly aware of police corruption during the murder trial of Teddy Woods, who he helped to arrest, he faces difficult decisions and puts himself into grave personal danger in the service of justice.

This movie stars some 90's B celebs like Lori Petty and Michael Ironside and also had Ice Cube(as the bad guy of course). This movie was was a decent movie. I cared about the characters and wanted the bad guys to get caught because they were dicks. A bit formulaic in a white people are to blame for everything type of bullshit but not over the type like Spike Lee is. 
But really was nothing special. It got really confusing because they threw a bunch of names in there and expected you to remember a bunch of shit. I only watched it because Lori Petty is fucking awesome. Remember Tank Girl?! Fuckin hell yeah.

5/10

Rob Zombie's Halloween (Rob Zombie)

The residents of Haddonfield don't know it yet... but death is coming to their small sleepy town. Sixteen years ago, a ten year old boy called Michael Myers brutally kills his step father, his elder sister and her boyfriend. Sixteen years later, he escapes from the mental institution and makes his way back to his hometown intent on a murderous rampage pursued by Dr Sam Loomis who is Michael's doctor and the only one who knows Michael's true evil. Elsewhere a shy teenager by the name of Laurie Strode is babysitting on the night Michael comes home... is it pure coincidence that she and her friends are being stalked by him?

Ugh..typical Rob Zombie fashion. After seeing this I wanted to run out of my room shooting people while Free Bird played in the background. Although this is his best movie to date. He did his typical dirty trashy people listening to classic rock shit. Sucking the cock of 70's horror movies. But despite all that I actually enjoyed his rendition of Halloween. Daeg Faerch, the actor who portrayed Michael as a child was an exceptionally good actor and I enjoyed watching him. Sheri Moon Zombie once again finds a way to be slutty and naked in this movie but she actually came off as a caring mother so that suprised me since I don't think she can't really act for shit(maybe thats why she only gets hired to play in her husbands films?! hmm..) Malcolm McDowell almost was ok as Loomis. But I hate McDowell so I hated his character. Zombie did a decent job kind of describing how Michael came to be. Trashy shitty up-brining and stripper mom/picked on at school. But more or less just a psycho in a bad enviroment. Then when he grows up Zombie just goes the basic plotline Carpenter did except for the ending which kinda sucked. I respected Zombie for not making the movie suuuper gory and slutty(which he LOOVES to do) and keeping it true to the films original intention. He also did a good job with the mask and wardrobe and Michaels masks he made in the institution(suuper creepy looking masks). Suspense, not gore. Which he did achieve pretty well. Plus he had Dee Wallace Stone and Udo Kier in the film. So props.

6/10

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(David Yates)

As another year begins for Harry, at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry so does the never-ending articles stating that he and Dumbledore are insane. As the ministry starts to invent new and malicious lies about Harry's account on Voldemort's return, Hogwarts begins to change for the worse as the ministry sends in their cure for all the insanity, Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge. As she begins to inflict her rules and regulations on the students at Hogwarts they begin to find that with her as their teacher, they'll never be ready for the outside world. So Harry along with his friends decides to take things into their own hands and begin to learn magic the real way. As Harry starts having visions of terrible events happening with the Ministries very walls he decides to take action, leading himself and his friends into battle, ultimately teaching them what friendship, loyalty and sacrifice really means.

I really enjoy the Harry Potter movies. I've liked every one. This one was really just a filler but still was very good. I really liked the camera work and how David Yates tried to keep it interesting(considering the book was said to be the worst of the series). It got me really really excited for the next installment. They keep getting darker and darker and this one is no different. Harry becomes pretty fucking badass and pissed off in this one. I guess I could read the books to see what the next one will be about but fuck that.

8/10

--BOOK--

Superstud: Or How I Became a 24 Year Old Virgin by Paul Feig

Feig, creator of the cult classic TV show Freaks and Geeks, offers a second book about the trials and tribulations of his youth. His first, Kick Me (2002), recounted his hilarious and often painful navigation of adolescence, and superstud covers similar territory but focuses specifically on Feig's interactions with the opposite sex. In a light tone that nonetheless manages to convey the gravity of his actions at the time, Feig recounts his early forays into photography, motivated by his discovery of his mother's fashion magazines, which are filled with scantily clad or naked women. He tells of his attempts to woo a girl three years older than him at the roller rink and a date with the class babe at an REO Speedwagon concert that goes terribly awry. At heart, Feig is just a sweet guy in search of a girlfriend, so readers will be gratified when they get to the last chapter and epilogue to learn about Feig's happy ending. Just as he did in Kick Me, Feig perfectly captures the whimsy and tone of adolescent reasoning.

This book was really great first off. It was more interesting then funny although there were some pretty hilarious parts(his parents not letting him use an electric blanket in case he pees the bed and electrocutes himself) among others. I loved just how open he is about everything and how he captured that paranoid youth. (example: scared shitless the clerk at the bookstore would automatically know why he was looking at photography books and call the police) I haven't read his first one yet, Kick Me which I think I'd like even more since it's more based off Freaks and Geeks. This one really makes me excited to read Kick Me. A humourous light-hearted book to read.

9/10

4-150 movies
1-30 books.

Holy shit this is a long first post.

I've decided to go with two books and three movies a week. That's 104 books and 156 movies in a year - not sure if I am even aware of 156 movies but I'm sure all of your lists will help me out.

1. War (Phillip G. Atwell)
FBI agent Jack Crawford (Jason Statham) is out for revenge when his partner is killed and all clues point to the mysterious assassin Rogue (Jet Li). But when Rogue turns up years later to take care of some unfinished business, he triggers a violent clash of rival gangs. Will the truth come out before it's too late? When the dust settles, who will remain standing? Directed by Philip G. Atwell, this taut action thriller also stars John Lone.

At the beginning of the film, when Statham says, "you never know who is working for who in this business", I right away realized I was in for more than an action movie and they were going to try and taint what could be an entertaining couple of hours with an actual plot. I was right, but pleasantly surprised. The "twists" were not rushed or forced, and believable. As always, some great martial arts on Jet Li's part. Statham carries this movie though, and it was nice to see him in a movie again where he acts more than he does kill people, (though this doesn't mean I am not looking forward to Crank 2.)

7/10

2. 300 (Zach Snyder)
Zack Snyder directs this faithful adaptation of Frank Miller's (Sin City) graphic novel about the storied Battle of Thermopylae, a conflict that pitted the ancient Greeks against the Persians in 480 B.C. The film, which blends live-action shots with virtual backgrounds to capture Miller's original vision, co-stars Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, Vincent Regan, Rodrigo Santoro and Dominic West.

I really never had any interest in this movie until my co-worker would never shut the fuck up about it, so I finally borrowed it from her. (It wasn't until I gave it back to her that I learned she only loved because of all the hot guys in it.) Anyway, definitely wish I would have seen this in the theater, because I'm sure that is what it was meant for. The entire time I felt like I was looking at this movie rather than watching it. . .if that makes any sense at all. The action was decent and the acting believable. Being a LOTR nerd I was happy to see David Wenham, (Faramir from LOTR, Dilios in 300.) Other than seeing him, the only other part that excited me was when Queen Gorgo, (Lena Headey), was out in town playing with her son while wearing this incredibly sexy dress, and Andrea said that is what she wants her wedding dress to look like - so the movie right away earns extra points there. (Though I'm sure it will lose lots of points when she dumps me and marries someone else in that dress.)

So if none of you have seen this yet, which I doubt, I would really only recommend it to Chris because of all the ripped, sweaty, eight-pack men in it.

6/10

3. The Jacket (John Maybury)
John Maybury's masterful thriller stars Adrien Brody as Jack Starks, a Persian Gulf War veteran who has lost his memories to amnesia. When Jack is accused of a heinous killing, he realizes he must find a way to prove his innocence. Desperate to unearth clues about his past, he seeks a controversial treatment that allows him to go back in time -- which turns out to be a heart-wrenching decision when he realizes he's destined for tragedy.

Time travel and Keira Knightley are two of many things that are constantly floating around in my head, and this movie has both. I don't really know what else to say about this movie other than I was very moved, and that is what I want out of films. I will be buying this movie soon and watching it a lot I am sure. Side note - a very aged-looking Daniel Craig is in this movie, and I didn't even recognize him right away. I don't know if it was incredibly good acting on his part, or make-up making him seem insane and a bit haggard, or if this is pre-botax/Bond Craig. It was weird though.

9/10

movie count
3 of 156

1. Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasy (Brett Kahr)

A renowned psychoanalyst offers a sneak peek into our sexual fantasies--and surprising revelations about the impact they have on our lives. Based on the largest-ever survey of sexual fantasies, and drawing on the author's twenty-five years of clinical practice, this "anatomy of secret desire" does for sexual fantasy what Kinsey did for sexual behavior. However, unlike Kinsey's books, which were almost unreadably dense and data-driven, Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? features narrative accounts of sexual fantasies and the author's own insightful interpretations of how those fantasies affect our lives. Kahr reveals the astonishing truth behind secrecy, shame and taboo, and demonstrates how sex fantasies exert a more powerful influence on our emotions, behavior, and relationships than we ever imagined.

Kahr surveyed about 23,000 men and women aged 18-90 from Great Britain and America. Some through anonymous online surveying, face to face interviews, or a few who were his actual patients. No actual names are given of course and identity is hidden. The majority of the book is set up where each chapter is dedicated to a particular type of fantasy - be it incest, teens/children, shame humility, general couples, etc. You get the picture. The chapters describes the "whys" of these particular types of fantasies, and the positive/negative effects they may have. Then the remainder of the chapter is samples from the surveyors, which are honestly the most interesting part of the book. For example, a page from the book may look EXACTLY like this:

George -
I do not feel comfortable answering this question.

Mark -
I go to my mother-in-laws house and when she answers the door, I take her out to the garden and make her bend over. I lift up her skirt and continue to fuck her until I turn her around and she takes my cock into her mouth and I blast a giant load of warm cum down her throat. Then my wife shows up and we do it all again in front of her.

Jim -
My girlfriend and I in a public place.

Alice -
The only reason I took this survey was for the money and to remind you sick freaks that we're not all perverts! Get a life.

A lot of the examples are very vague, and then sometimes they will read like penthouse forum. It's a good book for anyone interested in sex and consciousness, but not for anyone who is easily 'grossed out' because it is very explicit at times. For me, the only disturbing part of the book was the overwhelming amount of people, of both sexes and all ages, and of both fucked up and normal backgrounds, who fantasize about family members.

What I got most out of this book was how most people expressed how healthy and positive it was for the relationship when they shared their fantasies with their partner, and how, though it may get them off in and out of bed, it usually is not something they would act on in real life. That is an aspect, (how something that turns a person on and gives him or her a mind blowing orgasm, but they would never act on in real life), I wish would have been explored more.

Overall, what I got from Kahr is: "Hey, men and women of all ages fantasize, and very rarely will it have negative consequences."

7/10

book count
1 of 104

TTHHHHHHHHHHHHE THEEEEEEEEE

three more movies

1. 3:10 to yuma (mangold)
Rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) agrees to transport the captured outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to the nearest town with a rail station, where they'll wait for a train to court in Yuma. Holed up in the hotel near the station, Wade wreaks psychological havoc on Evans, while Wade's henchmen plan their next move. Director James Mangold's suspense-filled Western is a remake of the 1957 classic starring Glenn Ford and Van Heflin.

Get the spreadable cheese and your dick out......... this movie has plenty of cheese dick moments. Overall a pretty solid movie, and i will have to see the original to see if it is as dumb. This was the only Russel Crow performance I have enjoyed at all. Christian Bale is pretty solid as usual

6.5 out of 10

Sunshine (boyle)
With Earth's life source -- the sun -- dying out 50 years in the future, it seems the planet's days may be numbered in this sci-fi thriller starring Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh. Humanity's only hope lies with a crew of astronauts transporting a device that will revitalize the sun. But an accident, a deadly error and a distress signal from a vessel that vanished years ago leave the cosmonauts fighting for survival ... and for their sanity.

probably my favorite movie of 2007, an amazingly put together sci fi story, and one of the best "monster" movies I have seen in a long time. Not since aliens has a movie used drama between fellow humans and an outside source so well

9 out of 10

Blue Velvet (Lynch)

An innocent (Kyle MacLachlan) gets mixed up in a small-town murder mystery involving a kinky nightclub chanteuse (Isabella Rossellini) and a kidnapper (Dennis Hopper) with a penchant for snorting helium. One of the most bizarre (and critically acclaimed) movies of the 1980s, Blue Velvet inspired a generation of independent filmmakers with its dark look behind the all-American veneer of small-town life

Probably the most accessible of the unaccessible david lynch movies. Dennis Hopper gives the performance of a lifetime and makes pabst what it is today.

9 of 10

movie count
12 of 300
book count
0 of 30

first epic post.

Jakob has big ambitions and I don't think I could watch anywhere near as many movies as hes planning. I am pretty sure I can match him in the book catagory though so I am going to start out with 150 movies/30 books. So I guess I will start off with a movie I watched again last night. So here goes...

Pumpkin(2002)Anthony Abrams and Anthony Larson Broder

Perky, perfect Carolyn(Ricci) and her Alpha Omega Pi sisters plan to win Sorority of the Year by impressing the Greek Council with a killer charity: coaching mentally challenged athletes for the regional Challenged Games. When Carolyn's assigned to coach Pumpkin she's terrified at first, but soon sees in him something she's never seen before: a gentle humanity and honest clarity that touches her soul. To the horror of her friends and Pumpkin's overprotective mother, Carolyn falls in love, becoming an outcast in the process. As Carolyn's "perfect life" falls apart, Pumpkin teaches her that perfect isn't always perfect after all.

4/5
I hadn't seen this movie in a long while, and quickly remembered it's one of Christina Ricci's best movies. I really like how the directors were very detailed in this movie making sure everything looked absolutely perfect. A very interesting love story I think. I am very glad I watched IFC last night.

even more trash flavored trash

two more movies watched
i need to pick out a book to read soon


Zombie 2 (felluci)
"After a New York harbor patrolman is murdered at the hands of a flesh-hungry ghoul aboard an abandoned yacht, Anne (Tisa Farrow) -- the daughter of the ship's missing owner -- teams with a newspaper reporter (Ian McCulloch) for a private investigation. Clues eventually lead them to a Caribbean island where the dead refuse to stay dead. A voodoo curse is at work, and battle with the bloodthirsty zombies must be joined."

It has been a long time since I have watched a "zombie" movie. Everything that comes out now is some sort of super zombie or half zombie vampire. I'm into those too, but every now and then a good straight up zombie movie is in order. Oh yeah, zombie vs. shark.

7 of 10


Boogie Nights (Paul Thomas Anderson)

" By turns touching and shocking, Paul Thomas Anderson's Boogie Nights is ultimately an intimate drama about an unlikely family whose patriarch (Burt Reynolds) produces hardcore pornography. Set in porn's golden age -- the '70s -- Boogie Nights stars Mark Wahlberg as young stud Dirk Diggler and Julianne Moore as vulnerable star/earth mother Amber Waves."

I had seen this movie before, but i forgot so much about it. Really amazing long shots, awesome character acting. Dirk Diggler is my hero. so creepy innocent and yet such a bad ass. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's character is also spot on. It makes me want to bring back bad assery. Who wants to bring back 70s porn?

9 of 10

Total Count
9 of 300 movies
0 of 50 books

2 more

Last night i drank some vodka and watched bourne ultimatum and half of star wars V
today i watched my first bergman film "seventh seal" so here is the synopsis no one has been waiting for

Seventh Seal (Bergman)
"Exhausted and disillusioned, a medieval knight (Max von Sydow) makes the journey home after years of combat in the Crusades. When the black-robed figure of Death confronts him, the knight challenges him to a game of chess. A powerful meditation on the existence of God and the meaning of life, this drama is considered one of Ingmar Bergman's best and took the Cannes Film Festival Prize in 1957."

Hard to get into, but once you do there is lots of nice gentle humor and engaging performance. As stated above this is my first bergman movie and i will definitely be watching more. I don't know if it's the criterion re-mastering or if this movie's (along with most criterion cuts) black and white cinematography are amazing to look at. Sharp and vivid, like a silver tone photo print.
8 of 10
Bourne Ultimatum
"Matt Damon returns as the amnesia-stricken trained assassin Jason Bourne in this third film based on Robert Ludlum's best-selling novels. As Bourne travels from Moscow to Paris, Madrid, London, New York and Tangier, Morocco, in a quest to reconstruct his past (and thus clear the way for a future), he's joined by returning cast members Julia Stiles and Joan Allen as well as new co-stars David Strathairn and Paddy Considine."

BIGGER and better than the previous two movies. Same plot, bourne trying to figure out who he is. Amazing action sequences abound.
7 of 10

Total Count Thus far
7 movies
0 books

5. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Spielberg)

"When Roy Neary (Richard Dreyfuss) encounters a UFO, he's left with a sunburned face, a skeptical family and a shaken psyche. Soon, Roy begins seeking out others who've had similar "visions." Among those he finds are Jillian (Melinda Dillon), a woman who's lost her son to the aliens, and Claude (Francois Truffaut), a researcher preparing for Earth's first contact with extraterrestrials in this Oscar-winning classic from director Steven Spielberg."

Pretty cool due to the non hostile nature of the aliens and the humans towards the aliens. Get out your keytars and strike up some heart strings for this one

6.5 out of 10

Count thus far
5 movies
0 books

FIrst Post

As inspired by the VLV thread of setting a goal of how many movies to watch
and books to read in one year.

I am going to go for
30 books
300 movies

i usually watch at least one movie a day sometimes more
with books i have been a little disappointed in myself the last couple years
i am especially shooting for as many of the criterion dvds as possible as well as the critically acclaimed movies i have never seen. Netflix and our medial library will provide.

I will try to review as well as post a synopsis of each movie as i watch
I am already up to four or 5 movies this year and i will start there


1. Hostel 2 (eli roth)
"Return to the place where all your worst nightmares come true in this sequel to the hit gore fest. When three young American women take a break from their international studies and check into a Slovakian hostel, they have no idea they've walked into a chamber of horrors, where, for a price, wealthy psychopaths can live out their most gruesome fantasies by torturing and murdering visitors. Jay Hernandez reprises his role as Paxton."

Pretty much what you would expect. Predictable plot twists, boobs and gore. Dawn Weiner from welcome to the doll house is naked and tortured. The gore was pretty entertaining and a nice throw back to shock cinema.
3 of 5

2. Serial Mom (john waters)
"John Waters takes aim at his favorite target -- the social set of his hometown Baltimore -- in another of his taste-challenged satires. Kathleen Turner plays Beverly Sutphin, the suburban-mom-turned-serial killer who slays those who fail to uphold her idea of suburban perfection -- for instance, women who dare to wear white shoes after Labor Day! Along for the ride are Waters regulars Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, Mink Stole and Patty Hearst."

Kathleen Turner really steals this. As kitschy and campy as any John Waters movie.

3 of 5

3. Running With Scissors
" When Deirdre Burroughs (Annette Bening) impulsively decides that her adolescent son Augusten (Joseph Cross) should be raised by her unconventional psychiatrist (Brian Cox), her choice to give him away changes the course of his life forever. An all-star ensemble cast -- including Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes, Evan Rachel Wood, Alec Baldwin and Jill Clayburgh -- drives this quirky adaptation of Augusten Burroughs's best-selling memoir."

Joseph Cross as augusten is very well acted. This is a pretty slow and typical psychological trauma/fucked up family movie (royal tennenbaums, squid and whale) I fell asleep for a bit of it but i got enough of it to count. You're wealthy, Your family sucks, we get it.
2 of 5

4. Idiocracy (Mike Judge, Ethan Cohen)
"To test its top secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find -- an Army private (Luke Wilson) and a prostitute (Maya Rudolph) -- and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around. Mike Judge and Etan Cohen ("Beavis and Butthead") reteamed for this futuristic farce."

It's what plants crave. I am a big fan of this movie. Lots of little stuff going on around the main story that is very funny. I work for Pepsi right now, filling shelving at various grocers, and every day i think of this movie as glassy eyed shoppers fill there carts with Mountain dew.
4 of 5

5. Melvin Goes to Dinner (Bob Odenkirk)
"When Melvin (Michael Blieden) and his friends gather for dinner in this film festival favorite, their casual conversation takes a sharp turn as they begin to disclose real, raw truths about themselves: their sexual encounters, their dirty secrets, and the mean, awful things they've done or had done to them. Maura Tierney is spectacular, and Jack Black and David Cross make hilarious cameos. Emmy-winning writer Bob Odenkirk directs."

Very similar in delivery to Waking Life. Basically a movie of talking heads. Not much to look at. Well written dialog. Fans of mister show will definitely recognize Bob Odenkirk's tone here. As stated in the synopsis the cameos were the best part. Stick around till the end of this one too, it has a pretty awesome punch line.
3 of 5
TOTAL COUNT THUS FAR
4 movies
0 books